To say that I am going back to school at age 40 is not entirely accurate. This process began last year when I turned 39 and my wife said she was thinking about getting her degree. I fully supported her decision, but I was not even considering going back myself. It wasn’t until I took a very real look at what I wanted that I began to make that choice.

This brings me to the first step I took. I realized that I had to be honest about what I wanted, and that I was going to need to be a little selfish about it. That may sound harsh for a person with a job, kids and wife that certainly don’t want a selfish employee, father or husband. But that is what it took for me to fully commit to this endeavor. For me, I needed to be selfish to a point in order to be successful and become a college graduate that is also an employee, father and husband.

The strange part is that I needed the support from my family to be selfish. It’s not enough to have someone say, oh yeah, I support you. I needed the complete buy in from everyone before starting this process. They had to understand that I may miss certain parts of life due to school. My part in this was communicating this clearly and having open ongoing conversations that set proper expectations for our schedule. Planning out each semester with the people in my life has become a routine that is essential for my wife and I to be successful. The positive, engaging support I receive from them and the permission to be selfish has been the crucial ingredient for me embarking on this journey.